Fine Art

Blob came to the following conclusion today:

A picture of a piece of fine art can in no way substitute for the real thing. 

Blob has never been interested in Paintings - she likes performance art, not static imagery, however, recently she has been fortunate enough to see some amazing paintings and they quite took her breath away.  

The wow factor of art cannot ever be replicated in a photograph. 

You need to see the brush strokes. 
You need to stand up close and then stand far away. 
You need to wander around the room in which the painting hangs and see it from every perspective. 
You also need to breathe in its aura and absorb its beauty. 
You cannot get this with a photograph. 
You can get part way with a very good print, but nothing can prepare you for the initial perplexing tilt of the head and lump in the throat and even eye brimming reaction that a few minutes in the company of an original and beautiful painting can impart.

Fine art rocks!

Bob

Bank Holiday Lethargy

It is Bank Holiday Monday and we are doing precious little today.

I am staring mournfully at the wood burner. With luck it will spontaneously burst into life? Or perhaps not.

It is raining outside and I dont want to pay a visit to the vegetable bed because I'll get wet and that will spoil the day somewhat.

I overheard Blob chatting to her sister, and apparently she is going to 'cat proof the veggie bed'. I am unsure exactly what this entails, but suspect she is going to try and keep me out of it. I look forward to that! I do love a challenge! (as long as its not raining.)

Earlier this weekend, Blob decided that her strategy of buying a very cheap bike that would not get stolen was false economy. She hated it so much she wouldn't ride it. So she went to Halfords and in the Easter Sale and bought herself a brand new bike. And another lock. She now has a D lock, a cable lock and a length of chain and a padlock. It is probably going to take her 10 mins at the beginning and end of each trip to lock it and unlock it, but it will be well worth it to have a bike that she will actually ride.

Any how, the sun has broken through the rain and Blob is getting ready to cat proof things. I suspect I need to be involved!

Bob

Of being a big disappointment and being disappointed.

Today Blob got a letter from her mother and as usual was left feeling somewhat tarnished by the interaction.

In the first line, her 'Hi Powered' job was mentioned. Blob doesn't have a high powered job. She is no Richard Branson or Bill Gates. She has a run of the mill kind of mediocre job. She is lucky because she has a job that she loves, but it is by no means a High Powered job. Blobs mother however cannot handle the fact that Blob is not a captain of industry but in order to make Blobs mediocrity more bearable, she has determined that the job must be 'Hi Powered' and no doubt this is what she tells other people.

This upsets Blob.

Blob is Happy, surely that is enough?

Evidently not.

And as for the being disappointed - also in the letter, her mother mentioned that she has another dog. This is yet another dog that has been palmed off on her from her so called 'friend'. This friend has palmed other dogs off on her previously which have seemingly been prioritised above her family, and incurred expenses that she could probably have done without. This is the same friend that Blobs mother chose to be with last year instead of spending time with her daughters and grand daughter.

How much disappointment can there be in one blog?

Bob

Of Chamomile, Landscaping and Clever Grass.

Following the clearing out the shed debacle Blob has turned her hand to the Chamomile Lawn.

She has said many times that the Chamomile Lawn was a labour of love and needed lots of looking after, but this spring, she sadly looked at the weeds, grass, dandylions etc that had made the lawn their home and saw precious little chamomile peeking through so decided that things needed to change.

Thus she started digging up the said lawn and made three piles on the patio of weeds for the dump, top soil for the vegetable patch and chamomile for planting later.

During the process she discovered that not only does grass look like grass, but there is also a variety that notices it is trying to grow unnoticed in a chamomile lawn and tries to resemble chamomile before it gets long and hard to remove. This is clever grass, probably something to do with evolution, and it also meant that should anyone have looked over the fence they would have seen her sniffing the weeds before they were relegated to the weeds for the dump pile.

She dug, and sifted and dug and sifted for hours and then despite the fact that she was covered in mud raced off to the garden centre.

Quite often you hear children whinging about school, particularly about Maths, saying that what they are learning is pointless because they will never need it in real life.

I would like to point out that Blob never thought in a million years that she would need to work out what the circumference of a circle was, but if you take a look at the following picture and understand that there were only two blocks left over you will see how useful Pi and the associated formulae were.

Brilliant Blob!

Bob

Whoops!

Today Blob cleaned out the shed. I helped.

Blob threw out old paint tins - I chased them.

Blob threw out an old tarpaulin - I bounced about in it.

Blob swept out the dust and cobwebs - I rolled around on it.

All in all we were having a good time. Until ...

Blob disturbed a mouse nest in the tray of her electric tile cutter. All the mice fled in various directions, but the one i wanted was the one that jumped and landed on Blobs shoulder.

Now I am a cat and therefore agile and athletic, so I leapt to catch the mouse on Blobs shoulder. I am very familiar with Blobs shoulders, because when I was a little kitten I used to spend a lot of time on them.

Unfortunately, I was not quite as agile as I thought and missed her shoulder by about a foot, but that was ok, because Blob was wearing a sleeveless cotton vest and I climbed up it.

I didn't catch the mouse because it jumped over my head and fled out of reach. I could have chased it but Blob started playing another game which involved her writhing about and me trying to hold on.

It was great fun!

I hope we can play in the shed again soon!

Bob

This is a smiley face. This is included in today's blog because it is just like the smiley face that Blob has been sporting recently. This is because she has been working at Fire Stations for the last two weeks.

So far this has included being chauffered to the Tube Station in the 'Pump' which is the name for a Fire Engine with the water pumping equipment in it.

She has left a firestation after training and has then been hollered at and wolf whistled by the same firemen passing her as they get called out on a 'Shout' (an emergency call - could be a fire, could be someone burning the toast in an old peoples home or could be a student thinking that it is funny to set off the fire alarm in college). This was good because other women on the street all looked at Blob and were jealous because every one loves firemen.

She has also slid down the firemans pole which caused much hilarity for the firemen because Blob made quite a song and dance about it before leaping into the abyss. There was one fireman at the top of the pole with her. There were two down at the bottom to catch her incase she let go and there were two peering through the pole doors and laughing and waving. There was also one who just rolled his eyes and went off to the kitchen to start chopping veg for supper.

Blob would like to state that she didnt need catching at the bottom.

Only two days left of fire stations - she is going to miss it terribly and although she would not wish bad things on anyone, she would love for someone else to go off sick so she could have a few more days on this project. Not bad and very ill sick, but perhaps a touch of the sniffles in a hypochondriac type of sick.

I personally have never met a fireman and suspect it is better if I don't.

Bob.

De-Flea'd

De-jected
De-pressed
In De-nial
De-termined to be a spoilt bratish pussy and a right royal pain in the de-rriere until i've forgotten about the inhumanity of de-fleaing.

Serendipity

The definition of Serendipity is as follows:

ser·en·dip·i·ty (srn-dp-t)
n. pl. ser·en·dip·i·ties
1. The faculty of making fortunate discoveries by accident.
2. The fact or occurrence of such discoveries.
3. An instance of making such a discovery

Yesterday, Blob had an incidence of Serendipitousness. (Unsure of that word but it's my blog.)

She was wandering through a London alley trying to find her nearest Boris Bike docking station so she could cycle back to Waterloo when she came across a hidden away shop called 'Planet Organic'. She was thrilled and brought home an organic frozen ready meal which turned out to be a delicious vegetable korma and rice, some organic and mild shampoo which will not remove the hairs natural oils and a voucher for a free coffee for the next time she passes which will be sometime next week.

This is serendipity in its truest sense.

However, wandering through Epsom following a hair cut and stoicly refusing to go into Starbucks for a hot chocolate and then discovering an Italian ice cream stall in the shopping centre is not serendipitous - it is unfortunate and greedy and Blob should be ashamed of herself.

Bob

Its been a busy beginning!

Its been a non stop roller coaster since the new years bells dinged or donged or whatever it is they did!

Here's a quick summary:

• New cat foods tried - 3


• New cat foods rejected out of hand - 2


• New courses prepared for - 5


• New courses delivered successfully - 3


• New courses delivered badly - 0


• Boris Bikes used in London - 3


• New bicycles stolen (again) - 1


• Plays seen - 1 (if panto's count)


• Films seen - 1 (and Sherlock Holmes was excellent)


• Bottles of homebrew cider still to drink - 9


• Times face held expressionless to avoid offence to scouts - 3


• Times face held expressionless to avoid offence to delegates - More times than Blob can remember.

Blob's main job this week is to book all her years holiday before the end of the month. If she manages it she gets an extra day off and to celebrate a week well done, next Sunday she is visiting Wisley to see the Butterfly exhibition in the Tropical House.

Bob

Nearly New Year

Yes its been ages since my last blog. No excuses. Just been particularly busy or at least big pink blob has been busy which in turn means that I cant get onto the computer.

However, the Blob and I are snuggled up in the house and its about an hour til next year.

I realised about an hour ago that the world doesn't actually revolve around me.

It does normally, but tonight no. Tonight there are fire works and I dont like fireworks and I suddenly realised that there can't be many other cats in the world lying on silk cushions, on a leather sofa with two paws wrapped around Blobs calf because this is the only way that the fireworks wont get me.

Tomorrow I shall have scrambled eggs for breakfast and once again it will be all about me, but tonight and for only tonight I am grateful for blob and all the utter crap she puts up with from me, and that includes vomiting over her clean laundry pile in protest of the hoover about four hours ago.

Blob says that she too has come to a realisation. She said that the world does in fact revolve around her and her thoughts because thought created the universe. Not particuarly her thoughts but lots of thoughts from lots of people who have all created the universe and have become an inextricable part of that universe just by the simple act of thinking.

This being the case, means that she doesnt have to put up with things that upset her just because it is expected, because by putting up with things, means that they too become part of the universe and this would mean that there are things that upset her in the universe which has actually been created by thought including Blobs thought. Why would Blob think something that upsets her - that's not what thoughts are about.

So she will only be allowing nice things into her life from now on. She knows that at just past mid night the phone will ring and it will be her mother. She won't be answering it - the assumption of her mother that she is at home is not a nice assumption. Her mother assumes she has no friends and will relish the thought of her being alone because her mother likes things to be bad.

Blob isn't alone tonight - she has me. And she could have accepted a number of invitations but decided that going out and getting rip roaringly drunk would not do her any good at all and who would look after me when the fireworks get bad. And also, she does not like getting up in the middle of the afternoon with a headache.

Blob wishes all her friends and loved ones a fantastic evening and a great, healthy and prosperous new year.

And she assures me will endeavour at least one blog a week in the coming year. They may be short because she cannot allow me lots of time on the computer, but she will allow me some.

Happy New Year


Bob.

More Church Shenanigans

Only a week since her last foray into Church, and Blob went again! This time to a Catholic Church - St Joseph's in Epsom.

Was this any better than her last visit?

No!

In a Catholic church there are load of candles and stuff. And there were more songs with dreary tunes.

On the positive, at least the Lords Prayer had the proper words at this service.

Again there was a load of hand shakes and weird stuff going on and this time, the woman in front of her just held her hand there and wouldnt take it away until Blob shook it.

She was more than unimpressed when she got home.

On the upside though, apparently this is the last church parade this year, so unless Blob decides to go to a carol concert, there is no more church for Blob.

She will probably just stick to her meditation. Much more her cup of tea.

Om!

Bob

George and Henry

Blob received an email from George and Henry this week. George and Henry are two black cats who live in Shoreham and their Blob is my Blobs Godmother.

Apparently, George who was a supermodel is now no longer thin enough. It was all something to do with a giant furball which has now been hacked up somewhere.

They are also becoming a bit disturbed because they understand that Godmother Blob is being whisked away for a weeks holiday by another Blob who just happens to be my Blob's aunt.

Well in answer to your email boys, there is nothing you can do to stop Blobs going away. They do however try and ensure that you are continually fed and watered. What you can do however is to use the event against them for many months to come which can lead to a mass of titbits and extra love.

Actually, this will work for most Blobs, but not mine. My Blob is heartless and seems somehow immune to the guilt trips.

Good luck boys,

Bob

Church on Sunday!

Blob is not a Church goer. She is not particularly keen on organised faiths or the attempt at psychological control of congregations by the church.

However she is a Scout Leader and had to help this morning with the Rememberance Parade at St Martins in Epsom.

She hasn't been to church for some years, not since a friends wedding, and in that particular instance it was bearable because the music included Muppet Show tunes.

This time it was all very different:

• No Muppet Show tunes, but there were dreary hymns to dreary tunes. (tune is probably an exaggeration).



• There was a sermon that referred to the X factor. (No idea why except the vicar was trying to keep 'down with the kids')



• The Lords Prayer has changed since Blob last said it.



• At one point people tried to shake her hand - thank fully the people concerned were people who knew her, so they backed off respectfully after correctly interpreting her expression.

Was there anything about the whole experience that she enjoyed?

• Apparently, singing the National Anthem was her favourite bit because she knows the tune and could sing along.

Will she be going again?

• Not if she has any say in it, however, if not enough Scout Leaders volunteer for the next parade, she may have no choice.



• A Christmas Carol service would probably be OK, because she knows the tunes and can sing all the Carols.

All in all, not a particulary enjoyable experience.

Bob

Home Brew

The other day, there was a lot of non Bob related activity here, which is not a good thing. As a cat, and the only one that lives here, I expect the majority of the available attention.

The other day, I got absolutely none except for the few seconds it takes Blob to throw food my way.

She went to work, she came home, and then she spent a good couple of hours pouring some browny liquid from a big bucket, into assorted bottles. Then she put corks or lids on the bottles and on some of them, wound wire around the corks.

Apparently this activity that involves me in no way whatsoever, is called 'Bottling the Homebrew'.

Heres a picture:





















There is an awful lot of this Homebrew and according to a friend who necked a couple of bottles of it last night, it is rather good!

She thinks it will keep her going through Christmas. (Some hope!)

Bob

Possessions

Blob read a quote today from some American Philosopher called Mildred Lisette Norman.

"Anything you cannot relinquish when it has outlived its usefulness possesses you, and in this materialistic age a great many of us are possessed by our possessions."

Now this was spooky, considering that Blob doesnt believe in coincidences, and it was only a short while ago that Blob's Aunty said that she was clearing out things that she hadn't used in 6 months.

So Blob has decided to do the same thing. But rather than chaotically turning the house upside down, she is going to do it one small area at a time.

As far as she is concerned, it is going to be a discreet de-clutter - one bin bag at a time.

This I have got to see!

Bob

What flavour is Senior?

Blob wot feeds me has started buying me new flavours of food. The most common flavour that I have noticed is spelt S.E.N.I.O.R. I believe that a Senior is a kind of fish? I like fish.

I wonder what sort of fish a Senior is? I guess its something like Salmon.

Bob

Apologies

Blob wot feeds me wishes to apologise for me not having updated my Blog for a month!

She, it transpires, has been far too busy with her new job to turn the computer on for me.

Her new job is going well, but it is harder than she imagined it to be. It is also a shock to the system actually having to work for a living, which is something she didnt have to do at her previous job.

She has a very straightforward week next week, and is only doing courses that she has done before so nothing too new and scary. She has a full schedule now up to the end of November and needs to focus herself on the improvement of course delivery.

She has also been muttering about arranging a dinner party for early November and getting on with the Christmas Ode (whatever that is?)

She has also mentioned that she will be allowing me to use the computer on a slightly more regular basis going forward!

I must away now, as I am trying desperately trying to persuade her to put the heating on!

Bob
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Sleeping Sickness?

Blob has been looking up Sleeping Sickness because she is very worried about me having it.

This is what Wikipedia says:

She has looked at the symptoms briefly of these and decided that i don't exhibit any of the symptoms except for the sleeping bit, and apparently it's not a coma because i actually wake up when its tea time for long enough to eat.

Actually, one of the symptoms of Encephalitis lethargica is psychosis, and Blob thinks that i do actually exhibit that one but it doesnt seem to be a recent symptom, its more of a personality trait that i have always had so she chose to ignore it.

She is more interested now, however, in the German Film called 'Sleeping Sickness' because she says she needs something to do seeing as I am going to sleep for 23.5 hours a day.

So I will continue to sleep, and she will start searching for random German Films on Amazon.

Bob
Zzzzzzzzz......

Emotional!

Oh for heavens sake - Blob has just watched the end of Doctor Who in tears - what's going on? - She's normally hiding behind the sofa!

Bob

Of Spiders and Superglue

Blob considers herself brave. She considers her self above being scared of little spiders. She will scoff jovially when the other Blob squeals at what are considered to be 'Little Spiders'.

However, having pruned the roses and the bushes in the front garden, Blob piled all the cuttings in to IKEA Bags and loaded them in the car and took them to the dump. She also took some cardboard, metal and assorted dump like things.

Out went the cuttings into the green waste, out went the cardboard into the cardboard waste and then as she is about to haul out the metal to put into the metal waste, she squeals like a girl and jumps about five foot from her car.

Immediately a bloke came over and asked if she was ok. She pointed at the rear safety straps and could only get out one word .... 'Spider!'

The bloke apparently just looked patronising and leant into the car to rid it of its unwelcome passenger. He too jumped backwards and said 'Gosh, that is a very huge spider!' (He actually didn't use the words Gosh or Very, but I'm sure you get the picture.

Then another two blokes came across and the three of them discussed how best to remove the beast without actually having to go near it.

Here's a picture of it.











Eventually, they managed to coax it onto a dustbin lid and then ran to the edge of the dump and dropped it over the wall.

Blob actually felt quite sorry for it, because she suspects that its size has something to do with being about to lay eggs, but it didn't stop it from being hugely leg wavingly scary.

She is now convinced that there are other creepy crawleys in her car and will be getting it valeted as soon as she can to ensure she drives in a sterile environment.

You'd think that was enough excitement for one day, but no ..... it never is with Blob.

During all the clearing of the front garden, she split her nail and couldnt find her nail clippers. This is probably because she had been trying to use them to unscrew something earlier in the day, and that means that they could be anywhere in the shed, the garden or the house!

So now faced with the dilemma of a nail that was catching everything and no clippers she had a brainwave - "Fix it with Superglue"!!

Blob would like to point out that if you are going to fix a split nail with superglue, don't do it in bed. It took her ages, quite a bit of bad language and some blood as the nail split even further, to unstick her finger from the duvet.

Laugh? I nearly fell of the bed!


Bob.

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