You should see the other guy ...

I dont ask for much, but I do expect a little sympathy when im hurt.

But what do I get ... What do you think?

Daft comments and a new nickname of 'Scar Face'.

I ask you!
Somebody take pity on me!


Bob

It doesn't end at Wisley

She came back from Wisley so inspired, Blob immediately went outside to her little garden (much smaller than Wisley) and took some pictures of her flowers.

And these are the flowers I have been instructed to share with you:

Strawberries!

Roses (Handel)

Clematis Harlow Carr

Pinks

Grapes

Some sort of vetchy pea type thingy.

Scabius

Dianthus

If she comes up with any more flowers with which to bore you all to death, I shall respectfully decline. (Not particularly respectfully to be honest - I'll just be plain rude!)

Bob

x

It's all gone horticulturally mad!

On the way back from the auction, the brown (was pink once) blob popped into Wisley.

Blob likes Wisley because she considers it to be an extension to her garden being only 20 minutes away down the A3.

Some of you may remember her visit to Wisley earlier in the year when it was a bit wintry and bleak, so you now get to see how green and lovely it is in June.

The picture on the left is a resplendant Weeping Silver Lime and the one on the right is a Tupelo. You may remember the picture of this one earlier in the year with no leaves on. This particular tree is known as the Wisley Bonfire because of the amazing colours in the Autumn. Blob will endeavour to get a picture of it when the leaves turn.

This bush is a Philadelphus.

Blob is going to get one of these to replace the Hebe in the front garden. I have no problem with bushes in the front garden because i get to hide under them when Blob thinks I'm out hunting. This particular bush smells of bubble gum, which although sounds awful is actually gorgeous when its naturally occurring.

The picture here is of bamboos and was taken for no other reason than Blob thought it was amazing.

The new rose garden has not yet been constructed, it is due to be opened in 2011. Blob is hoping to see the plants in by the end of this year, but the old rose garden is still blooming lovely (did you see what i did there!!)

I suspect Blob will have a further update on Wisley later in the year.

Bob

Going Going Gone

Today the big brown blob went to an auction.

This apparently is a big room full of old stuff and lots of people (some of whom were as old as the old things), with a man on a lectern shouting numbers whilst the old people waved, nodded and winked at him.

Blob seems to think that this is very similar to flirting, what with all the waving, winking and nodding going on but was told that she had to stop winking, waving and nodding at everyone unless she wanted to buy something. Life is so not fair!

This is all part of her major de-clutter - she has been doing boot fairs, selling on ebay and the good stuff has gone to auction.

Well, on the proceeds of today, Blob will not be giving up work and becoming a lady that lunches, she will however be able to get her electrics done - maybe!

She also discovered that the auction place she went to, has a specialist book auction section so she is going to start de-cluttering her bookshelves - she does love a good de-clutter.

She is hoping that her mother (who she went to see when she was in Cornwall) will also start to de-clutter, but that as they say, is quite another story. (More like a fairy tale than just a story).

With luck some of the proceeds will be syphoned off into the Blob loves Bob fund?

A cat can dream!

Bob

Deserted yet again.

I knew this togetherness was too good to last - just when we have settled into a 'water the garden and then snuggle on the sofa' routine every evening, the big pink blob buggers off to Cornwall for a few days.

But not only did she leave me, she got some complete stranger called Jeremy to come in and feed me.

Jeremy was obviously so taken with my glorious good looks and amenable nature, the first thing he did was try to pick me up and cuddle me ... I'm not sure who was more shocked ... Me because someone i don't know wanted to slather me in kisses, or Jeremy because he couldn't actually get me off the ground.

Sometimes it's good to be big boned!

She came home on Monday, and should now perhaps be referred to as the brown blob, because she's changed colour - something to do with the sun I believe.

I'm not one for open displays of affection, but it was nice to get back to snuggles on the sofa - not that i'll let brown blob know however - there are limits.

Yours contentedly

Bob

Another Domestic Goddess moment!

I wandered down stairs this afternoon hoping wistfully for a kebab or cod in batter and came across a strange nightmarish hallucination.

My Blob was sitting on the sofa with a needle and cotton and was actually sewing badges on her scout shirt. This is not something I see very often, if ever. I have seen her cook, and I occasionally see her clean. I have been unimpressed by her weekly ironing bouts, and she hurls her make up on in about 90 seconds. I have seen her crouched over a sewing machine with her tongue attractively sticking out of the side of her mouth whilst she runs up curtains and cushion covers, but this was a first.

Needle in hand, she squinted painfully as she stitched six badges on her shirt and one on her beret.

Then, when I thought I could laugh no more, she starts hemming her scout trousers.

My sides still hurt, just thinking about it.

What's next? A cross stitch sampler? Crocheted quilt squares? Embroidered smock dresses?

My poor heart can't take the hilarity.

Bob.

One more thing ....

I was right, as always ....

She does look a right plum in her scout uniform!

Bob

Neglected.

Never before have i been so ignored. Blob has discovered a mmog on her iphone. Mmog apparently stands for massively multiplayer online game. This stands for a game she plays with thousands of complete strangers on her phone.

She started with a city and has built it up to three cities with soldiers and everything. She now goes around and attacks other people, has joined an alliance where she has friends who help her and she helps when they are attacked and all the time she is making more soldiers and upgrading her defences.

I wouldnt mind so much if she actually went places with real soldiers but she just sits on her bum playing on her iphone.

Booooooorrrrrrrrriiiiiiinnnngg!

I get fed late, and sometimes i creep up and put my head on her knee and she looks up all blurry eyed like she doesnt know who I am.

Anyway, if it were just that I could cope, but no, she has also taken to watching Big Brother.

"I watched the First One, and I shall watch the last one. I ignored all the others, but this is history in the making." she says .

"No" I say, "this is official get the rspca social services in to stop me being neglected."

I don't ask for much - a warm bed, regular meal times and the tiniest bit of affection ...

Sure as hell ain't getting it here.

Yours neglectedly

Bob.

Its not been a good week.

Well, when I say not been a good week, I dont mean for me. My week has been pretty much as any other week. I slept, I ate, I slept, I went out, I digged, I stalked, I ate, I slept.

For my blob however, in human terms her week has not been as good as it could have been.

It started OK with a Bootfair at the weekend which was lots of fun, but she did bring quite a bit home again. But on Monday, she woke up somewhat hayfevered and was a bit fuggy for most of the day.

Tuesday morning she managed to spray air freshener on her armpits and all day kept getting whiffs of apple flavoured bathroom spray for the rest of the day.

On Wednesday she went off to get her scout uniform and was a little depressed because she had to get mans sizes.

Thursday was uneventful but on Friday things have perked up a bit as she is taking some friends to a Scout Fundraising Race Night. Thats in a couple of hours, but right now, she is slobbed out on her sofa grinning inanely at the workdays end and a peanut butter and cheese sandwich.

I fail to see what the human race finds so attractive about peanut butter and why would they mix it with cheese, or jam or chocolate spread, or all the other disgusting combinations that i have been unfortunate enough to witness.

Heres hoping that next week is better - if for nothing else - my own sanity!

Bob