She, and by 'she' I mean the big pink blob that used to lavish affection and food on me, has deserted me in favour of selling her worldly belongings on Ebay.
From the minute she gets home to the minute she leaves for work in the morning she is typing away 'clickety clickety' and taking photos and wrapping things up in bubble wrap 'rustle rustle'.
[Clickety Clickety]
I shall check in a minute to see if i have been fed this evening, or if i am expected to call out for a take away. I quite fancy a chicken korma tonight, or perhaps pizza, but either way the one thing you can count on is that I will be eating alone.
[Rustle Rustle]
Oh yippee - she just sold Crocodile Shoes II. Some obscure album that she bought back in the Nineties has now been foisted off onto an unsuspecting stranger.
[Clickety Rustle]
And what is she spending her money on? Well the latest acquisition is an old Jack Nicholson film of the type that she is currently selling to anyone that will buy.
[Clickety]
You know what - sod this for a game of soldiers - i'm off to bed and she can Clickety and Rustle all blooming night for all i care.
Yours aggrievedly
Bob.
Do not worry, Bob. I, too, had a brief afffaire with e-bay, but the novelty soon wore off.
ReplyDeleteThings will return to normal soon....meanwhile, can I send you some take-away menus?