I am Bob. I currently live in a house. I live with a large two legged pink blob of the female persuasion who housekeeps for me. She's not very good and quite often doesn't get out of my bed in time for my morning feeding. She also goes out all day and sometimes doesn't get back in time for my supper. To this end, we got another large two legged pink blob to live in the spare room and she feeds me when the first one doesn't get home 'til late.
I am beginning to think that they have some form of intelligent communication process, because if one of them feeds me, the other one won't, no matter how much i demand it, so perhaps the constant yap that comes out of their mouths actually means something to them.
Big pink blob brought me home a cushion to sit on.
As if i would sit on something that tacky, however i don't actually want to upset her so i sit on it when she's around - just to keep her happy mind, not because its really comfy and in front of the wood burner and no one else is allowed on it.
I have started to note down my thoughts and current events in order to alleviate the boredom because once the blob has left for the day, the Jeremy Kyle Show is over, and Fern and Phillip have finished putting the world to rights, I am at a thoroughly loose end. Lets face it there are only so many squirrels you can chase before you get all sweaty and break a claw and other such tiresome inconveniences.
I'm now bored and need a quick nap before either of the blobs get home - it takes an awful lot of energy to blag supper off both of them!
