More things I like to eat!

Today Blob has been baking and I have been helping!

First I tried helping by sitting behind her and watching her whilst she mixed things up, but she trod on me twice so I moved out of the kitchen and sat on a chair so i could see her without being in trampling distance.

I had to interrupt her a couple of times by plaintive wailing whilst a fat Great Tit helped itself to the peanuts hanging in a bird feeder that Blob bought me for my birthday. I think the original idea was that birds come to feed and i get let out to feed on said birds, but being of the female persuasion, Blob has obviously changed her mind. So she stood and watched, whilst I cried at the bottom of the patio window.

Baking however is an interesting thing to watch.

What happens is that Blob puts butter and sugar in a bowl and mushes it together, then she turns her back and starts weighing out flour.

Then she turns back to the bowl with the butter and sugar in and shouts at me for putting my paw in the mix. The art is to get onto the worksurface really quietly and what helps with this is making sure that everything else I do is done noisily.

This way, Blob reckons that she will always hear me coming!

Anyway, after she has measured the flour, she gets eggs out of the fridge and mixes them up in with the sugar and butter. Then she has to move the mixing bowl because having refused to get off the worksurface, I start trying to climb in the mixing bowl.

Once Blob has managed to mix in the eggs and the flour and knock me off the worksurface by poking me with the wooden spoon, she scrapes the mix into a cake tin which has been buttered by blob and licked by me when she wasn't watching, and then put into the oven.

While it cooks, I get to take a break and lick off the cake mix that was on the wooden spoon I got poked with. Its a hard life.

When the cake comes out of the oven its consistency has changed completely, and Blob turns it out and leaves it on a rack to cool.

She comes down stairs a few minutes later to find me back on the worksurface and patting the underside of the cake because its hot and steamy and it smells good.

I'm not sure who she intends to serve this up to, but I do love baking!

Bob

Potentially more Euthanasia?

Following a phone conversation with her sister, Blob was in a pretty black mood.

I'm not sure that I fully understand the implications but apparently Blob's mother has decided to write both her and her sister out of her will in favour of Blobs's niece.

Blob doesn't begrudge the Master Munchkin anything, but doesn't understand exactly what has brought on the change. She doesn't know what she has done wrong.

Truth be told she probably hasn't done anything wrong.

She doesn't actually like to think of anyone dying and in most instances she would rather they didn't but the truth of the matter is that when your parents die, you inherit their estate, be it a £50 premium bond or a whole house. And lets face it we are all going to die - it is probably the only universal truth upon which we all agree.

To be written out of your parents will for absolutely no reason is basically your parents giving you a two fingered salute and telling you that you are worthless and mean nothing to them.

Well all I can say to that, and I think I speak for Blob, is

"Bovvered?"

Where's that hammer?

Bob

Euthansia?

Is the word of the day apparently. I have heard it several times.

I now understand that the missing sushi and the hammer have something to do with Euthanasia. I heard Blob on the phone to her sister talking about ammonia build ups in the sushi tank and resulting blood poisoning and suddenly the penny dropped.

(Note to self: Don't let Blob take me outside wrapped in newspaper with a hammer.)

Note to everyone else, I can now add prawn crackers to my list of favourite foods, along with chicken curry, chilli kebabs, porridge and cod in batter so if anyone fancies bringing me a present next time they visit .....?

Bob

Mysterious things afoot.

Another sushi mystery!

Today, one of the sushi went missing. I notice these things because i make it my business to know what is going on with my sushi.

One of them hasn't been looking too well recently, and didn't wiggle about in front of me waving its little fins in that 'oh so tempting' manner. So this morning I climbed onto the work surface in order to check on its well being only to discover it missing.

Just after my discovery I heard some rapid hammering outside and then Blob came in from the garden carrying something wrapped in newspaper and a hammer.

I'm not sure, but I think two incidents were somehow connected. She wasn't even cross with me being on the worksurface.

I shall continue to take a keen interest in the sushi and will report back if any more of their number vanish.

Just off to polish my magnifying glass and to dust the mothballs off my deer stalker.

Bob

What rhymes with Coalition

To be honest, I don't actually know what coalition is, but it appears to be upsetting the Blob wot feeds me.

'Bob', she said, 'Nothing has happened this year, nothing of note, nothing that i can connect to Santa.'

'And ...?' I replied helpfully

'Every damn year I manage to find something interesting.' She said,

'Me getting stung by a wasp not good enough for you?' I replied equally helpfully.

'Same war, same political argument, same environmental mess!' she ranted.

'Is it dinner time?' I asked.

Apparently the answer to that was No! But best not ask how I know!

Ooh, wood burner alight - time for basking!

Bob

WE'RE NOT DEAD

I have to start with that somewhat obvious statement, because Blobs sister rang the other day and asked if she and I were OK.

Apparently its the first thing she checks when she hasn't heard from Blob in a week or so and then because there had been no updates for a few weeks, she had to call to find out if we were dead or not.

Well, we're not!

Bob has been hogging all computer time playing daft games (again) and more recently has been designing the Epsom Air Scouts website.

To be honest, there hasn't been much to tell.

September is a funny old month with the potential for an indian summer although in this case, the likelihood of dropping temperatures and the beginning of a wet and windy Winter.

Things of interest this month were me getting stung by a sleepy wasp which was, according to Blob, my fault entirely because when she flicked it off the curtain into the garden I wasn't supposed to chase it. I limped for at least 20 minutes and what sympathy did I get? None as usual.

I discovered I rather like sweet and milky porridge. I only know this because Blob, in the style of the three bears left a bowl of porridge on the table to cool whilst she went upstairs and abluted.

When she came back she seemed to think i had had my face in it. An accusation that I hotly denied. However apparently the lumps of porridge on my chin and the milk dripping off my whiskers was a dead give away. Damn my fine whiskers!

One of my whiskers is going grey (nothing to do with porridge and milk) - something that seems to cause Blob more amusement that it perhaps warrants.

This weekend, although the heating is still very much off, the woodburner was lit and i have spent the first of hopefully many lethargic weekends, basking on my back whilst my tummy roasts. (Nearly as good as porridge).

October I expect will be a little more interesting, what with Halloween, Xmas poems and hopefully lots and lots of porridge!

Yours hopefully

Bob

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