Burnt

Some of you may remember that i behaved rather badly a few months ago when trying to get some food off Blobs plate.

I have tried to behave a little better since, however today she roast herself a pork belly, marianated in Mead and cooked on apples, sage and onions, and served it with a cider gravy.

When that came out of the oven i was literally quivering with anticipation and even beginning to drool a little (and I don't do drooling).

She carved herself a plateful and I could hear the crackling crack and the knife slicing the meat as if it was butter.

So desperate was i to get some (obviously because she is a great cook and I am her greatest fan - did my nose grow visibly just then?), that i was becoming a little impatient with my claws on her leg.

Now she made all the usual noises, and swore all the usual swears, but the smell was driving me wild.

If by any chance I had listened to her I would have heard words; "Wait!" and "Hot!" but I was far too busy being irritating.

So eventually she completely lost her rag and passed me a chunk of meat and said "Burn yourself on that then, and dont coming running to me when your nose catches fire?"

All I can say is that it was hot.

It was very hot.

I took a huge mouthful, shrieked, hissed and ran away.

I came back five minutes later, and surprisingly enough wasnt particularly interested in the pork any more.

But I did manage to sit in front of the fire making irritating mouth noises for the next two hours as partial revenge and I am still considering calling the RSPCA only my mouth is too sore to formulate words.

Miserably yours

Burnt Bob