Is what the vet man said I would have to lose by next year.
I get stuck with a needle, i get a worm pill rammed down my throat and I get told i have to lose 400 things by next year.
And Blob isn't talking to me which I suppose is understandable, seeing as I took out both shoulders, her right shoulder blade, her left elbow and the back of her head whilst she tried to get me in the box.
400 things! Thats loads and the vet man said just to lose about 20% of my food, which is already meagre rations, and his reason was because I go out and hunt and catch my own food. Is he actually suggesting that I eat the wild things I kill???? Bleaggghhh!
One can only hope that the weekend gets better!
Bob.
Friday, 22 July 2011
Sunday, 17 July 2011
Guilfest - Not The Best.
Blob was a bit out of sorts when she got back from her forays of festival life. Apparently Roger Daltrey has lost his voice. Not that Blob expected him to sound exactly the same as he did thirty or forty years ago but the best bit of the concert was the parts sung by his band members. She was sad because there will never be another voice quite like that, but also because she had to make a decision at the concert.
Apparently Roger was on at the same time as Adam Ant who was on another stage, and the rocker in Blob won out. However as she left the venue, a little disappointed, she was even more upset to see the Adam Ant fans all leaving quite elated. He, apparently, was very good indeed.
She has found out that he will be playing the Tunbridge Wells Assembly Rooms on 2 December this year and will be contacting her friend Denise to see if she would like to accompany her.
She is also up to something secret that I am not allowed to say - she said that my blog is open to the public and you never know who's watching. Mysterious huh!?
As well as all the above, I have received a message from Henry who lives in Shoreham. Apparently his brother George has been receiving cream when they think that Henry isn't looking.
Well Henry, I think you have answered this one yourself - as you say - You are a bit of a fat cat! And that young Henry is why George who is a super model is getting cream.
You could lose a bit of the tonnage and then perhaps you'll be getting cream too.
Apparently that last comment has caused much hilarity and Blob is sniggering unkindly whilst she cooks supper. The words 'Pot', 'Kettle' and 'Black' were definitely used, but I choose not to understand the sentiment!
I wonder if there'll be butter on the potatoes?
Bob
Apparently Roger was on at the same time as Adam Ant who was on another stage, and the rocker in Blob won out. However as she left the venue, a little disappointed, she was even more upset to see the Adam Ant fans all leaving quite elated. He, apparently, was very good indeed.
She has found out that he will be playing the Tunbridge Wells Assembly Rooms on 2 December this year and will be contacting her friend Denise to see if she would like to accompany her.
She is also up to something secret that I am not allowed to say - she said that my blog is open to the public and you never know who's watching. Mysterious huh!?
As well as all the above, I have received a message from Henry who lives in Shoreham. Apparently his brother George has been receiving cream when they think that Henry isn't looking.
Well Henry, I think you have answered this one yourself - as you say - You are a bit of a fat cat! And that young Henry is why George who is a super model is getting cream.
You could lose a bit of the tonnage and then perhaps you'll be getting cream too.
Apparently that last comment has caused much hilarity and Blob is sniggering unkindly whilst she cooks supper. The words 'Pot', 'Kettle' and 'Black' were definitely used, but I choose not to understand the sentiment!
I wonder if there'll be butter on the potatoes?
Bob
Friday, 15 July 2011
That Deaf Dumb Blind Kid Sure Plays A Mean Pinball!
It is Friday.
It is late morning.
Blob is not at work, but is drinking hot coffee whilst watching last wednesdays 'Apprentice' on I-player.
She is not at work today because she is going to Guilfest this afternoon. This is a small weekend festival in Guildford. She is only going because Roger Daltry is doing a solo acoustic set this evening and Blob wistfully remembers him in skin tight white lycra and tassels with a beautiful mass of blond curls.
Blob is very strange indeed.
You Better You Better You Bet!
Bob
It is late morning.
Blob is not at work, but is drinking hot coffee whilst watching last wednesdays 'Apprentice' on I-player.
She is not at work today because she is going to Guilfest this afternoon. This is a small weekend festival in Guildford. She is only going because Roger Daltry is doing a solo acoustic set this evening and Blob wistfully remembers him in skin tight white lycra and tassels with a beautiful mass of blond curls.
Blob is very strange indeed.
You Better You Better You Bet!
Bob
Monday, 27 June 2011
Beetroot!
The title does not mean that the Blob what feeds me has produced a beetroot for supper as part of her 'grow her own' kick. No, not at all.
Beetroot is the colour of her face, chest, neck and shoulders.
And why is she this colour I hear you ask?
Well my beloved blob who is also a responsible for a bunch of scouts, went camping at the weekend and whilst she made sure that all her charges were covered in sun tan lotion, she managed to pack hers away and put it in the car and then stand for a couple of hours in the midday sun helping run a zip wire activity.
She is now bright glowing red in an assortment of places, hot to the touch, thoroughly miserable and looks even more ridiculous than usual.
Why it was the Blob race that got given opposable thumbs never ceases to amaze me.
Bob
Beetroot is the colour of her face, chest, neck and shoulders.
And why is she this colour I hear you ask?
Well my beloved blob who is also a responsible for a bunch of scouts, went camping at the weekend and whilst she made sure that all her charges were covered in sun tan lotion, she managed to pack hers away and put it in the car and then stand for a couple of hours in the midday sun helping run a zip wire activity.
She is now bright glowing red in an assortment of places, hot to the touch, thoroughly miserable and looks even more ridiculous than usual.
Why it was the Blob race that got given opposable thumbs never ceases to amaze me.
Bob
Tuesday, 21 June 2011
Home Grown for Supper
Tonight Blob pottered about the front garden when she came home and picked her supper. And all this before coming inside to feed me. My nose was extremely out of joint but did she care? No, of course not - she is extremely unfeeling is Blob!
So whilst i crunched miserably through a handful of dry and tasteless food, she steamed new potatoes, purple carrots, purple beans and a few peas, and boiled a sweetcorn cob (not from her garden). This was all served with a knob of butter and some grated cheese (also not home grown, unless she has acquired a goat and has it hidden somewhere?)
She is now prancing about in her pants (not something to dwell upon) extolling the virtues of self sufficiency!
Honestly - it was 6 potatoes, 2 carrots, 3 beans and a handful of peas - you'd have thought she'd put away enough for winter, but thats Blobs for you.
Bob
So whilst i crunched miserably through a handful of dry and tasteless food, she steamed new potatoes, purple carrots, purple beans and a few peas, and boiled a sweetcorn cob (not from her garden). This was all served with a knob of butter and some grated cheese (also not home grown, unless she has acquired a goat and has it hidden somewhere?)
She is now prancing about in her pants (not something to dwell upon) extolling the virtues of self sufficiency!
Honestly - it was 6 potatoes, 2 carrots, 3 beans and a handful of peas - you'd have thought she'd put away enough for winter, but thats Blobs for you.
Bob
Sunday, 19 June 2011
Not doing very well!
At blogging that is, we are both doing very well otherwise!
Blob has passed her exams which means she is now a Microsoft Office Specialist Master 2007. She is awfully pleased about that which means I get treats.
She has another 8 comic parcels to put on Ebay, but is waiting for a 'Free Insertion' weekend. No doubt it will be a free weekend next weekend but Blob is out all weekend, camping with the Scouts.
Does she have anyone in mind to come in and feed me? No! So it looks like it will be a pile of biccies and my water machine from Friday night to Sunday afternoon. Life is hard being a Bob.
She has also just finished 3 weeks worth of ironing which i have been asleep on for most of the evening (perhaps life isn't that hard!)
The rain in the last couple of weeks has given us lots of raspberries, we nearly have peas and beans, the trailing lobelia and sweet peas are draping themselves around the garden in wild bunches of pink and purple, the roses are smelling sweet and the hop is trying to take over the world.
Of course, the week after this scout weekend, she has a cub weekend - more unlovedness so we are both looking forward to the weekend after which means doing absolutely nothing except feed me and love me and feed me all weekend. Life could be good for Bobs!
Here's hoping!
Bob
x
Blob has passed her exams which means she is now a Microsoft Office Specialist Master 2007. She is awfully pleased about that which means I get treats.
She has another 8 comic parcels to put on Ebay, but is waiting for a 'Free Insertion' weekend. No doubt it will be a free weekend next weekend but Blob is out all weekend, camping with the Scouts.
Does she have anyone in mind to come in and feed me? No! So it looks like it will be a pile of biccies and my water machine from Friday night to Sunday afternoon. Life is hard being a Bob.
She has also just finished 3 weeks worth of ironing which i have been asleep on for most of the evening (perhaps life isn't that hard!)
The rain in the last couple of weeks has given us lots of raspberries, we nearly have peas and beans, the trailing lobelia and sweet peas are draping themselves around the garden in wild bunches of pink and purple, the roses are smelling sweet and the hop is trying to take over the world.
Of course, the week after this scout weekend, she has a cub weekend - more unlovedness so we are both looking forward to the weekend after which means doing absolutely nothing except feed me and love me and feed me all weekend. Life could be good for Bobs!
Here's hoping!
Bob
x
Saturday, 21 May 2011
Apologies
Very sorry and all that for my absence, but the big bad Blob that feeds me has been busy and I have no thumbs so cannot open the computer.
So here is a brief summary of what has been going on in No 10 over the last month.
I am now fully acquainted with my new drinking machine.
I haven't had proper meat for four weeks.
Blob went camping with the Scouts for the weekend and froze her proverbials off.
Blob is carefully removing non grape producing shoots from the vine so she can have grapes this year.
We have had 7 strawberries.
We have one Angel Hair Spaghetti squash seedling.
Blob has been studying for her Microsoft Office Specialist exams, but with very little preparation material available because they are new exams, she is using the version before and hoping her exam luck kicks in.
I have managed to dig up four lettuces and an onion from my litter tray in the front garden.
There is now a sprinkling of something Blob calls Cayenne Pepper all over my litter tray and it smells bad, but i managed to get used to the creosote smell, im sure ill become immuned to cayenne soon enough.
We are expecting our first courgettes soon, and the tomatoes are looking very little and green, but are definately coming.
Blobs first homebrew looks like real wine, and tastes like real wine, but shes not sure how alcoholic it is - she had some problems with the fermentation lock so it may not have alcoholled properly.
She has made £80 pounds so far for ebaying eagle comics.
I have taken to jumping up and down on Blob in the morning - this is not something i have always done but it is in retribution for the lack of meat in my diet.
Last weeks Doctor Who was brilliant according to Blob. One of her preferred authors Neil Gaiman penned the episode and so it was a Triple Whammy of Dr Who pleasure. 1. Doctor Who is brilliant, 2. Matt Smith is a great doctor (not Dr Potato Head thank you Denise), and 3. Neil Gaimans surreal intellect is always delicious.
Anyhow, I will be endeavouring to keep the Blog uptodate going forward, if only she would leave the computer open. And on to be honest. And on the correct page would be nice.
Bob
So here is a brief summary of what has been going on in No 10 over the last month.
I am now fully acquainted with my new drinking machine.
I haven't had proper meat for four weeks.
Blob went camping with the Scouts for the weekend and froze her proverbials off.
Blob is carefully removing non grape producing shoots from the vine so she can have grapes this year.
We have had 7 strawberries.
We have one Angel Hair Spaghetti squash seedling.
Blob has been studying for her Microsoft Office Specialist exams, but with very little preparation material available because they are new exams, she is using the version before and hoping her exam luck kicks in.
I have managed to dig up four lettuces and an onion from my litter tray in the front garden.
There is now a sprinkling of something Blob calls Cayenne Pepper all over my litter tray and it smells bad, but i managed to get used to the creosote smell, im sure ill become immuned to cayenne soon enough.
We are expecting our first courgettes soon, and the tomatoes are looking very little and green, but are definately coming.
Blobs first homebrew looks like real wine, and tastes like real wine, but shes not sure how alcoholic it is - she had some problems with the fermentation lock so it may not have alcoholled properly.
She has made £80 pounds so far for ebaying eagle comics.
I have taken to jumping up and down on Blob in the morning - this is not something i have always done but it is in retribution for the lack of meat in my diet.
Last weeks Doctor Who was brilliant according to Blob. One of her preferred authors Neil Gaiman penned the episode and so it was a Triple Whammy of Dr Who pleasure. 1. Doctor Who is brilliant, 2. Matt Smith is a great doctor (not Dr Potato Head thank you Denise), and 3. Neil Gaimans surreal intellect is always delicious.
Anyhow, I will be endeavouring to keep the Blog uptodate going forward, if only she would leave the computer open. And on to be honest. And on the correct page would be nice.
Bob
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