In the Dog House .... Again!

I am in trouble yet again with Blob.

She is really quite snarly at the moment and although the blame has been laid very firmly at my paws, it really is nothing to do with me.

Since she gave up the allotment (which is a blessing) she has been spending lots of time in the little patch of land that calls itself a garden. Because I like to keep tabs on her, I like to help. To this end I frolic happily avoiding the hosepipe whilst she waters, and I insist on little tastes when she is eating cherries off the cherry tree (she has had at least 10 cherries and 2 strawberries so far).

Unfortunately the minute I try and do something all by myself, the instant I try and use my initiative ... it all goes horribly wrong.

Blob has a huge untidy patch of poppies. Great big opium producing (thats probably wishful thinking) heads of poppies in red and black and in white and black. Unfortunately although they are pretty, they tend to attract big yellow and brown hairy buzzy things. Blob refers to these as

"Bees".

Well in my defence, I was only trying to catch the buzzy things to firstly stop them annoying the poppies and secondly, I wanted to see what they tasted like, but what actually happened was that I managed to knock all the petals off the poppies with the exception of the last one.

The language was yet again unprintable and I suspect that we should be greatful that neither of our neighbours speak English as a first language.

I was furious - how was I supposed to know that it is not a good thing to eat Bees. She said that I was welcome to eat Wasps (like I look that stupid) but not Bees.

Well let me tell you, the day she manages to stop Bees looking so fluffy and bouncy and generally attractive will be the day I stop trying to taste them. And lets face it, the poppies were merely civillian casualties, and you only have to listen to the news to hear how that is apparently quite acceptable.

I got my own back ... the poppy shown in the picture also lost all its petals. It somehow happened as I was taking a short cut in order to spend a penny by the cucumbers!

I will be keeping a low profile for the foreseeable future - at least until bedtime!

Bob

Long time no write!

Well its been some time since I last sat and penned my thoughts. The reason for this is because it has been some time since I had some time to sit and pen my thoughts.

We've been busy busy busy here because Blob has decided to have a party. (Heaven Help Us!)

To this end, she has decided to get my garden neat and tidy and clear out the last of the DIY stuff and clean the living room. It doesn't sound that hard a task does it - but lets face it, as anyone that knows Blob will tell you, she doesn't do things by halves. She has just spent two four day weekends scrubbing, weeding, digging, sweeping, humping, gravelling, pruning, brick laying (yes, you read right!), chopping, sawing, filling, papering and painting, and I am completely knackered. It was exhausting watching her!

Of course, as you would expect, I tried to help on several occasions, but she didn't appreciate me trying to help her fill the flowerbed with bark chippings - I think her words were something like, "Stop sh**ing in my flowerbed you ..." and this was followed by a lot of words that I am not clear on, but I don't think they were complimentary.

On the sushi front, Blob has now re-populated the tank. We have a little grey one called Crispin and a pretty white one with a red cap called Rozita. (Apparently when you say Rozita, you have to say it in a Mexican/Spanish accent - well that's how Blob says it everytime!)

Also, Blobs weird diet appears to be working. I mean, I don't care either way as long as I get fed, but she says shes dropped nearly two stone and that makes her happy. And if Blob is happy, then i'm happy - except for the fact that there is no supper sharing any more, but when she is happy I am more likely to get second breakfasts at the weekend and that only leads to more pleasure for me. (That is a good thing).

However, now Blob is focussed on party giving, she is poring over recipe books and checking out which super market is giving best value on Beef and Sparkling Wine and I haven't seen any cat food going on the shopping list.

This could lead to trouble!

Also, rumour has it that we are going on holiday in three weeks or so, and I am not sure where we are going or whether I will like it. Where in the car is she going to fit a litter tray, and why hasn't she consulted me on where we are going. Perhaps it is going to be a surprise trip - not too keen on surprises but paws crossed it will be a good trip. I suspect the only thing worse than not going to somewhere nice for cats would be being left at home and being fed by the other Blob and having to sleep alone - but she wouldn't do that ... would she?

Concernedly yours

Bob

The Curse of the Fish Tank?

Finally, our brave little soldier Hugo, to whom I was becoming somewhat attached, gasped his last and floated to the top of the water.

Over a week ago, he was fine, and then developed an utter plague of diseases. By blobs reckoning he had white spot, fungus, fin rot and swim bladder issues all at the same time.

Because she really does have a good heart despite her constant neglect of me, she raced out to the pet shop and purchased a whole bag of medicines, then spent half a day syphoning water out, pouring water in, treating, filtering, adding plants, removing gravel, replacing gravel, testing ph, nitrates, nitrites, ammonia and chlorine.

The next day, believe it or not, little Hugo appeared to perk up. He was swimming around like a loony, eating all the plants and lookin much better.

In another couple of days, the white spots were getting a bit less and his fins appeared to be less shabby.

He continued to improve for the next couple of days and blob and I breathed a sigh of relief and blob started to plan getting some friends in for him.

The next morning however, he was floating on the surface. Blob was actually quite upset, she even kept poking him to see if he was pretending. To see perhaps that if she poked him far enough down in the water, he would wake up.

He didn't.

We have no fish at the moment. Blob is spending a couple of weeks in mourning. She has cleaned the tank and all that was in it and having treated the water, she decided to wait 3 weeks with the filter running and the plants in place to get the bacteria to proper levels.

She wants to get fish again, but she is going to wait until just before her party (and that is a whole other story).

She still didn't let me eat hugo when he was dead, but this time I am going to forgive her. She really was very upset about the demise of all her fish, especially Hugo.

I shall wait for a reasonable amount of time before I start ruling her life with teeth, claws and attitude; a couple of hours perhaps.

Must get a kip whilst I am waiting.

Bob