Lazy is as lazy does!

The foul mouthed two legged pink blob said i was lazy! How could she? I am many things; gorgeous, svelt, shiny, smiley, sleepy and down right sexy - but not lazy. Never lazy.

She came up with some pictures to prove her point - well all i can say is 'Hah!'.

The first, i was having a quick kip following an extremely energetic jaunt next door - it may not sound terribly energetic, but when the man next door catches me trying to bury poo in his flower beds he tends to be fairly quick on his feet so i have to really peg it!

The second, well honestly, she cannot talk, i was waiting for her outside the bathroom. Its a dangerous place and one of my main roles in the house is to ensure that health and safety is followed. I have had the misfortune to see her in there, and she lies in the big white thing right up to her neck in bubbles and water. Yeeeeuuuuggghhh!

It is my sacred duty to protect her so i have to wait til she comes out to make sure she's ok because if she isn't then who will give me my bedtime biccies?

I'm so not lazy, its just that i have particular chores that no one else appreciates.

My jobs around the house are as follows:

• Patrol the perimeter


• Ensure that all my meals get to me on time


• Mark my territory both on the cherry tree in the garden, the back gate post and on the floor boards outside my bedroom


• Find warm comfortable places in which to sleep


• And last but not least, just before i curl up on the pillow, i have to ensure that all limbs are neatly tucked inside the duvet because if they are sticking out in any way, then i get to eat them.

Now this is not an easy job, it takes planning, thought and an inordinate amount of energy. So like i said, I am many things, but lazy is absolutely not one of them.

I can now feel my second afternoon nap coming on, so will sign off and see if i can coax any more warmth out of the sofa cushions.