Hot and Cold

Nobody could say I am a fussy cat.

I have simple and basic needs and if those needs are not satisfied in an eager and timely manner, then like any patient and loving creature, I calmly wait until they are fulfilled. (Or i stick all my claws into your leg until you acquiesse (have I spelt that right?))

However my one sticking point is the ambient temperature.

I like it warm. See this woodburner, this is my favourite place. It is not just warm, it is postively nuclear.

I spend so much time stretched out in front of it that my natural body temperature has actually increased to 247 degrees and my eyebrows have ceased to even try and grow back.

It is also the reason that I absolutely have to have the middle of the duvet in order to avoid drafts.

So when i woke up a few weeks ago and found that this is what the outside looked like, can you actually blame me for not wanting to put a delicate and extremely toasty paw outside.

The pink blob went as far as digging the white stuff away from my special private entrance (blob calls it a 'Kat Flap') because she thought i would go outside when natures calls got a bit desperate.

WRONG!!!!!!!!!

I was initially tempted by the brand new sports bag that the pink blob got for Christmas - she puts a load of weird stuff in it, so i relieved myself in its depths. At least it doesn't smell of plastic any more!

In exchange for this physical demonstration of my misery and desperation, the pink blob from hell who I completely and utterly hate, picked me up and hurled (note 'hurled') me out of the front door.

Well I sank right down to my ears and by the time I had surfaced she had slammed the door and I could hear her and the other pink blob laughing.

I mangaged to get back in via my special entrance and as a mark of protest at such insufferable treatment, I poo'd in a plant pot.

There was an awful lot of gagging I can tell you (not me, the pink blobs!) And the next minute there was a litter tray (or as i like to refer to it - an inside toilet!). The rest of the white weather passed quite uneventfully and I have now recovered from the trauma of such abuse.

I must away now, things to do, creatures to chase and ultimately an anonymous phone call to put in to the RSPCA.

Welcome to Bob's Blog

Hello

I am Bob. I currently live in a house. I live with a large two legged pink blob of the female persuasion who housekeeps for me. She's not very good and quite often doesn't get out of my bed in time for my morning feeding. She also goes out all day and sometimes doesn't get back in time for my supper. To this end, we got another large two legged pink blob to live in the spare room and she feeds me when the first one doesn't get home 'til late.

I am beginning to think that they have some form of intelligent communication process, because if one of them feeds me, the other one won't, no matter how much i demand it, so perhaps the constant yap that comes out of their mouths actually means something to them.

Big pink blob brought me home a cushion to sit on.
As if i would sit on something that tacky, however i don't actually want to upset her so i sit on it when she's around - just to keep her happy mind, not because its really comfy and in front of the wood burner and no one else is allowed on it.

I have started to note down my thoughts and current events in order to alleviate the boredom because once the blob has left for the day, the Jeremy Kyle Show is over, and Fern and Phillip have finished putting the world to rights, I am at a thoroughly loose end. Lets face it there are only so many squirrels you can chase before you get all sweaty and break a claw and other such tiresome inconveniences.

I'm now bored and need a quick nap before either of the blobs get home - it takes an awful lot of energy to blag supper off both of them!